Erasing the Past
by Alanna the Lioness
Summary: (R for later chapters.) 3 years after graduation from Hogwarts, Ron is married to Lavender, but still in love with Hermione, who was kidnapped and has been missing for 4 years. Ron decides that the only way to settle his emotions is to find Hermione, and


Erasing the Past

A/N: Wow…suddenly, it's the new year, and I want to write an angsty Ron/Hermione fic. Ah, the beauty of angst. Italics are either thoughts or flashbacks, FYI.

Disclaimer: Considering I have a total of $20 in my keeping, I seriously doubt that the Harry Potter characters are mine. *is still searching for an underground safe with mounds of lovely green dollar bills*

*

_Hermione._

_Why do I keep thinking about her this way? _Ron Weasley frowned up at the ceiling. _There hasn't been anything between us for years. There never was. I was stupid to think there had been something in the first place. _He sighed.

The person in the bed beside him stirred. "Ron?" Lavender, his new wife, murmured sleepily. "Is there something wrong?" Her tone was tinged with concern.

Ron silenced his spouse with a gentle kiss. "Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep." He waited until Lavender's breathing became deep and prolonged again before turning his thoughts back to Hermione.

He HAD loved her. It had taken a while for him to realize his feelings and confess them, but in the middle of his sixth year at Hogwarts, Ron had finally admitted it. He was in love with Hermione Granger. Bookish, know-it-all Hermione. Hermione, who couldn't go a day without proving him wrong in something. Hermione, who had nearly given her life in seventh year to save him. Hermione, the last girl at Hogwarts besides his sister that Ron had expected to fall for.

She'd promised to visit him as much as she could. She was going into the Auror business, to help the rest of the Ministry track down the remaining Death Eaters after Voldemort's final downfall, while he would be fulfilling his dream by joining the Chudley Cannons quidditch team as keeper. He'd waited and waited after graduation, but she hadn't come. He'd sent her numerous owls, and every time, Pig came back empty-clawed. But Ron never gave up hope.

Two years after he'd first begun playing with the Cannons, he'd reunited with his former housemate, Lavender Brown. She'd recently left Seamus Finnigan after she'd caught him snogging a woman she'd never seen before in their bedroom. Ron had offered to take her out to dinner, and she had accepted. He was pleased to see that Lavender was not the girl she once was. She'd matured, in more ways than one. Divination was no longer so much of an interest as it had once been for her, and she seemed a lot more intelligent. The real world had done her good.

It wasn't long before he began to officially date her. He found comfort in Lavender in his aching for Hermione, and he filled the hole Seamus had left in Lavender's heart. She'd almost made him forget that there ever was once a Voldemort. He'd tried to forget about Hermione, but she was always there; always haunting his thoughts in one way or another.

His mother had become angry with him when he'd announced that he and Lavender were engaged. Ron had spent four nights at the Burrow, arguing heatedly with Molly; trying to make her see reason. But Molly didn't seem to think any better of Lavender, even after Ron assured his mother that his fiancée was no longer a mindless little girl. She'd called Lavender numerous nasty names, and Ron was sorely glad that he hadn't actually brought Lavender to the Burrow.

_"I won't have that….that SLUT…for my daughter-in-law!" Molly shrieked across the table at her youngest son._

_"Mum!" protested Ron, his face turning red in his anger. "Lavender's NOT a slut! She's not with Seamus anymore!"_

_Molly's hand shook in her rage, and a few gobs of mashed potato landed on the table from her fork. "What about Hermione?" she demanded. "She would have been a fine choice! I thought you loved her!"_

_"I do!" Ron snapped. "SHE doesn't love ME!"_

_"What makes you so sure?"_

_"Mum, she hasn't written to me since school let out! She's probably forgotten about me already!" He threw his napkin down, rising from the table. "I feel stupid enough about it! You don't have to make me feel worse!"_

His father was more understanding, although it was obvious that he didn't approve of Ron's choice entirely. Arthur had at least respected his son's decision. The twins were already married—Fred to Angelina Johnson, George to Alicia Spinnet; Percy had left the house. Ginny, however, still remained. She shared her mother's opinion, but was more understanding.__

Ron had never gotten his mother to agree to the wedding, so he married Lavender in secret, inviting a select few to witness it. Harry Potter, his long-time best friend, was one of them. Harry had assured Ron that he was happy for him, and that he wasn't going to object to it in any way.

_"Congratulations, mate." Harry smiled after he had pulled Ron aside. "How do you feel? I mean…about this whole wedding thing."_

_"I'm happy," Ron replied. He looked at his friend suspiciously. "Are _you_?"_

_Harry shrugged. "She seems okay. Better than she used to be, anyway." Then he asked the question Ron had been dreading. "Ron…what happened to you and Hermione?"_

_Ron looked away. "Dunno. I haven't heard from her since we left Hogwarts."_

_Harry raised his eyebrows. "Really? Have you tried to see her?"_

_"No," Ron answered stubbornly. "If she doesn't want to write to me, then she obviously doesn't want to see me, either. She's probably found a husband by now, and doesn't want anything to do with me." He turned away, pretending to be fixing a cuff on his sleeve. He didn't want to talk about Hermione anymore._

_"I doubt that, Ron," Harry said softly._

_"What do you mean?" Ron demanded, still not turning around. "Have _you _heard from her?"_

_"Not recently," Harry replied. "I did see her, yes. About a year after we graduated."_

_Ron turned and stared at his friend. "How was she?"_

_Harry shook his head. Suddenly, he looked weary. "She didn't look too well. She told me that she loved her job, and when I asked her how she was doing, she said she'd never felt better….but you know how Hermione is. I didn't believe her. She seemed like she was hiding something, but didn't want to say what it was." He chose a chair nearby and sat down. "And when I asked her to tell me the truth, she started to cry. She showed me all these bruises up and down her arm. Said her co-worker got a little angry with her the other night." His green eyes flashed. "I went back with her to the office, but the bastard wasn't there. And the next day, Hermione was gone."_

_Ron felt rage, like an ugly black demon, forcing its way out of the depths of his mind. "Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"I didn't know where to find you until now," Harry sighed. "I owled your mum, but she didn't know where you were staying, either. I got invitations to play on three quidditch teams, but I didn't pay them any attention. I tried everything in my power to find Hermione, but I still haven't found her." He rested his forehead in his hand._

_"You mean…you mean she's _not _an Auror?" Ron demanded._

_"Ron, Hermione's been missing for two years. The _Daily Prophet _stopped printing articles about her disappearance only recently. You've been focusing on quidditch for too long." Harry studied his friend's face, relieved to see something. "You still love her."_

That summer, Harry became the new seeker for the Cannons, and he and Ron searched for clues to Hermione's disappearance in their spare time, but to no avail. Not even the best of Aurors could pick up any hint of a clue. At times, Ron still awoke in the middle of the night, worrying; wondering. He hoped she was alive, and if she was, that she was okay. The whole affair sounded awfully fishy, as if something had PREVENTED her from writing to him and Harry. He wondered who her co-worker was…and amused himself by imagining the excruciating pains he would inflict on the man after he found him.

Lavender gave a little sigh in her sleep and rested her head on his shoulder, interrupting his thoughts and recollections. Ron wrapped an arm around his wife as he tried to forget about Hermione…just for a little while, even.

_"You still love her," _he heard Harry's voice insisting.

"I know," Ron sighed. "Damn it, I know."

He closed his eyes and waited for sleep to come.

*

A/N: Yep, TBC.


End file.
